I don't feel equal with others, especially the gay community and its "fans"?

And the last sentence is the gist of the problem. But don't give up. Not everybody can be a social erfly or fashiontastic. Nor should you need an entourage for approval. Some of us will just have to settle for being real, and personally, I respect you for that. I think you're fine as you are, socially awkward, weird and all. It's okay to just be you.